Friday, May 7, 2010

Visiting my Ex-Ex-Ex Boyfriend.

“So does that mean you're back together again?”

"Hell no!" was her emphatic reply. She went on to explain why she was done with him. (For the 5th and final time)

"First off, he's a lawyer. That should be enough of a warning. My friends all said the only good lawyer is the one representing you, not the one sleeping with you...."


"Well now I know what they really meant! Can you believe it?"

Before I could answer, she went on.

"Second he's a player. The first week we were together was GREAT but after that, it was all down hill. We would go to dinner and he'd get ten calls from ten different women, and he would answer the call right in front of me! Can you believe it?"

Again, before I could answer, she went on.

"I was the first one he lived with after his divorce. Like that was supposed to make me feel special or something! Yeah right! Can you believe it?"

Before I could answer, she went on.

"He wanted to set things up convenient to him. Not a single thought about me! I said to him, this is not a business deal and I'm not a toy you can play with then put aside till the next time. Do you know what I mean?"

Once again she went on before I could answer.

"He said he loves me more than he's ever loved anyone else. Well I feel sorry for all those other ladies! Where I come from you give 110% in a relationship not 80% or 90%! Do you know what I mean?"

Before I could answer, she went on.

"He thinks’ it's all about money! I don't care about his damn money. He says we will be comfortable and I'll want for nothing. What about love? I'll want for nothing: Sure! Can you believe it?"

Before I could answer, she went on.

"He has two kids from that previous marriage and they are great. But I don't want kids! They're older, thirteen and fifteen, but I still don't want kids. He would never be there and it would be all me. Do you know what I mean?"

Again, before I could answer, she continues.

"I think he was just afraid of being alone! He has to go into the hospital this week because he has to have surgery and he is scared. I haven't seen him or even talked to him since January 25th then all last week he called three times a day saying I am the love of his life. He can't live with out me! It was all BS! Do you know what I mean?"

Before I could answer, she went on.

"He actually asked me to move back to Atlanta. Like I'm going to just going to throw away my new life and go back to him! Can you believe it?"

I think she’s turning blue. Will she stop talking long enough to breathe? She went on.

"It's hot here in California but Atlanta is hot and humid. Unbearable! You can't walk across the street in the summer without getting drenched in sweat. He sweats like a pig! Do you know what I mean?"

This time I actually got out a, “Well....” before she went on.

"We were supposed to go and see a couple’s therapist. He emailed me a list of the sessions all the sessions we were going to have while I was in town. Do you know how many we actually went to? Zero! Not one. He cancelled all of them. He doesn’t want to work things out. Do you know what I mean?”

She was going to continue but I had to cut her off. “I’m sorry to interrupt but we are here.”

She looked out the window and said, “Wow we got here so fast!”

I was thinking not fast enough, but said, “Well time flies when you’re having fun.”

She smiles and pays. As she climbing out of the cab her phone rings. She answers, “What do you want?”

I don’t have to wonder who was on the other end of the line.

One thing I learned was not to ask, “How was your trip?”